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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Love, Reincarnation, and Soul Mates



The soul is a spark, a blue fire, or a violet flame, even a red blaze. It really depends on how the soul feels; in love, in passion, in sadness. The soul cannot be destroyed; it can only be transformed. A good and bright soul can become a dark and twisted thing. But even then, the soul can heal and become light again. The soul holds the infinite memories of its creation, of all the trials it has lived, of all the loves it has gained and then lost. The soul is a secret beneath a rapidly beating heart. The soul is a whisper between hushed lips. The soul is a jolt of life in sweeping touches of skin. The soul recognizes love in eyes, the timber of a voice, the touch of a hand. This is how soul mates find each other again and again; through the memories of the soul.

As the body is born into the physical world and begins to age, the mind is constantly gathering information. The mind gathers all that the body senses and more. What the mind cannot perceive in its entirety, the soul can. There is a reason why the term soul mates has the word soul in it. And it is because this type of love originates from that recognition that emanates from deep within, from a place only the soul knows.

For many, reincarnation is a thing of mystics and fantasy, yet they are familiar with the term soul mates and even search for theirs. This is because the soul knows that reincarnation is real and the conflict arises when the mind tries to compartmentalize reality and explain everything. The soul understands logic, the logic of the mind, but the soul employs logic on a universal level that is difficult, if not impossible, to understand in human form. And so, many dismiss reincarnation.

For me, it is impossible to believe in soul mates and twin souls without believing in reincarnation. And here’s why: In order for soul mates to recognize each other they must have known each other. How can someone recognize someone they have never met before? In a mundane sense, it is not possible. For example, say you are walking down the street and a stranger catches your eye. You feel you recognize him or her, yet you know you have not met before. You have no memory of ever having met this person, not from your childhood, early adulthood, and so on. But the feeling of somehow knowing this person is nagging. This whole situation defies logic. This whole situation defies the physical laws we are familiar with, with the linear time we are familiar with. Only if you let go of those so called laws does it make sense, because then you realize that you have indeed met this person, but in a previous life.

This post is to do with reincarnation and soul mates, but if you do not believe in reincarnation, that is fine too. There will be other posts that will talk about soul mates with minimal references to reincarnation. And if this isn’t your thing, then there is no harm exploring the topic. It can be scary taking these ideas of reincarnation into consideration because it disrupts reality at its core. Often, these beliefs challenge a person’s religion directly and that may cause someone to question their faith; though faith and religion do not always have to be connected. But this is why sometimes we meet soul mates, twin souls, and near twins, to disrupt our understanding of reality and provide a different perspective, if only momentary.

Love is another thing that has no specific form. It is calling, expanding and contracting in the universe. The soul is permeated when it is in light by the thing that is love. And even when the soul has been damaged severely love can still touch it and affect it, to the point that it can redeem a darkened soul. This is the love of soul mates. Often people look at the love of twin souls like it is the ultimate and the love of soul mates is seen as a lower level of love. This is not true. There is no way to measure love and say one is better than the other. Love is love and how good it is for someone depends on that person. Soul mate love is precious and finding the soul mate that will stay with you for the rest of your life is surprisingly rare, like the twins finding each other.

But love is an energy, if we can describe it somehow, and it attracts similar energies. Soul mates that find each other have similar energies, very similar energies. Think of it this way: soul mates’ energies come from the same source. Because of how closely related their energies are, soul mates are able to recognize each other life after life.

When soul mates meet for the first time, their relationship is gradual and easy. Maybe they are best friends and become lovers. Or, it can be the contrary, where the relationship is fiery and quick. This is because the ability to recognize each other has yet not been exercised, meaning that the souls are still working on getting to know each other. Though the souls may have the same origins they may not have met in the ethereal before incarnating.

When these soul mates meet again, they will feel that strange pull of faint recognition. Their relationship will be stronger because their bond will be stronger. Their souls will have shared memories and that will manifest through their relationship.

And so it keeps going. Each time the soul mates incarnate their bond gets stronger. This makes them gravitate towards each other. Lifetime after lifetime shared creates familiarity and deep love.

All of this, however, only takes into consideration one soul mate and romantic reunion. There are many types of bonds that are built through existence and time. As there are different types of love so too are there different types of soul mates. Each soul mate and each time we meet, something within is touched and forever changed.

Namaste.


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