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Founder & Sexologist

I believe love is the sun of the soul. With love in our hearts to light our way we are never lost, only exploring. 

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Twin Souls and the Pain They Cause

When you first start learning about twin souls and when you first start experiencing this relationship, everything is positive and an energizing whirlwind. Writers of this topic hardly ever say anything negative about this type of relationship and the information that many provide can be misleading to those experiencing their twin. Speaking in general terms, romance and soul mates and twin souls are all the epitome of love and it is described like being under the warmth of a comforting sun. But this is not always the case. Some describe negative experiences, disappointing experiences, even things that make them stop believing in this type of relationship. And it is all possible. The twin soul relationship is not only golden rays of sunshine; it is also hard, cold, dark, and lonely.

The idea that the twin soul will bring great things is not false, but it is not the whole truth. Most believe that the twin soul will not do harm to them, after all, he or she is an actual part of you. But this is a massive misconception that causes confusion and even enhances whatever pain a twin may be feeling. There is no one who can hurt you more than your twin soul. In part, most already know this. On a subconscious level, most know this and this is why there are so called “runners.” This vulnerability is what is terrifying and exhilarating all at once when at the beginning of the relationship. How can he see right through me? Why does she know everything about me? Why, with only one look, can he see everything about me? I cannot hide. There is nowhere to hide in this type of relationship. That is part of the beauty of the relationship but it can also be the worst.

Knowing everything about another person puts you in a position of power. Knowledge is power, as cliché as it may be. We see this in everyday situations like politics or in the betrayal of a friend. Twin souls are capable of hurting each other, of betraying each other, of everything that can go wrong in any other type of relationships. Many come into this topic thinking that they have found a haven from the usual difficulties of relationships, but that is just not the case. And when they are confronted with the reality of the situation, it is devastating. It is like losing hope in all of love, it is believing there is no such thing as love. Because if my own twin soul, who is supposed to be this divine counterpart of mine cannot love me fully, unconditionally, and perfectly, then what chances are there of anyone else being able to?

The twins tend to have nobody to rely on. There are very few who understand this type of relationship and can provide any type of guidance that resonates with the twins. It makes the whole situation a lot more difficult. Finding such a deep connection with someone may make other types of relationships difficult. The twin soul becomes the focus of everything and when things go awry, everything falls out of focus, everything is out of balance, and what once felt like a small and ignorable prick becomes a gaping wound.

Strangely, for a relationship that is divine and designed to inculcate universal love and understanding in those involved, it may cause the exact opposite. What does “the exact opposite” mean? If the twin soul relationship is to bring enlightenment, love, and light, then the exact opposite is ignorance/shallow mindedness, hatred/pain/suffering, and obscurity. This can and does happen when the relationship does not turn out as it had been desired, by both or only half of the couple. It is impossible to say exactly what will trigger a couple to descend because each couple is distinct and there are just too many situations that are possible. So, however it is that the couple falls out of love and into negativity towards each other, the results are painful.

After having experienced the warmth and deep love of this type of relationship and after losing it, life will seem bleak and even meaningless. This happens because the twin soul relationship provides insights into all types of relationships. This relationship highlights the deep bond that exists between themselves, the couple, but also, it highlights the superficiality of all other relationships. Perhaps superficiality is not the best word to describe other relationships as compared to the twin soul, rather it is better described as the transience of the other relationships.

Soul mates may encounter each other repeatedly life after life, but eventually they do go their own way. All things are transient, except that when experiencing disappointment or pain, transience seems to be superficiality. This is why it is important to be aware of your emotions so that you may keep reality in perspective. Understanding the difference between superficial relationships and the transient nature of relationships allows you to not feel the pain of separation (or at least, it eases it) and provides a deeper understanding of the universe. (Read Soul Mates and Reincarnation to understand more about this type of relationship and its effects.)

The thing that can make the ground beneath your feet disapear, and not in a good way, is being with a near twin and believing him or her to be your twin. It feels like the universe itself betrayed you. Again, hope is lost here. When someone realizes the person they loved with all of their soul is not in fact who they thought they were, everything falls out of balance and everything becomes dark and painful. This may be extra painful because the person loses faith in himself or herself, in their ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy, in their ability to recognize their other half. When you are so focused on another person that nothing else matters, not even where you stand, and when that person is revealed to be something other than what you desired, it wreaks havoc on your inner compass. You feel lost, confused, and angry. You get angry at God, at yourself, at your partner, at the world. This is when the twin soul is inadvertently causing pain, rather, when the idea of the twin soul is being harmful. The further you fall into these negative emotions, the shallower your perspective becomes. If love opens your perspective, then hatred narrows your perspective.

Many wonder, and I do too, why there are so few reunited twins. You can find, all throughout the internet, an outline of when and how to meet your twin soul. However, where are all of the success stories? The reunited and happy couples? There are very, very few. I don’t believe there is an exact timeline or process to getting back to your twin soul. The idea and belief, the expectation that something is going to happen at a specific point in time or after something specific happens, is what sets you up for disappointment. Each relationship is different, but certain characteristics and patterns are shared to some degree. Yes, there are patterns to every twin soul relationship, just like any other type of relationship, but there is no definitive way to each other just as there is no definitive way to enlightenment and ascension. Believing that you know exactly when and why reunion will happen is akin to hubris, as this is something that is on the level of universe consciousness. And when we overstep, the universe always reminds us somehow. Do not misunderstand me, the universe is not punishing you, rather the universe is indifferent to your desires and it simply is; this itself is enough to make someone realize that he or she was wrong, and it is disappointing, and therfore it is painful.

The twin soul reveals the truth about relationships and this deeper perspective of life extends to everything else. It makes everything depressingly meaningless and after experiencing the warmth and light of the twin soul, nothing is ever the same, it is like knowing too much, knowing the truth behind reality and being disappointed. But that is the truth; life is fleeting, relationships are fleeting, and we meet each other for only moments and reasons to serve a purpose: knowledge (inner knowledge about life and love). Coming to terms with these things takes time and pain, because these are the hidden truths of life. It is like not knowing how to get to your own home, but you must remember that you used to know the way. Find peace by accepting the situation and focusing on going back to yourself. The change can be felt in a few days or weeks, but it will happen if you choose so.


A few lines are taken from a response I wrote to a comment and I wrote this post as an expansion on my response.


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