We are very small-minded creatures, regardless of whatever academic accolades one may achieve, regardless of how wise one may seem, we, in our human and constraining forms, have very narrow views. There are those that believe that only through action, physical outwardly means, can results be achieved and that any other way is inferior. Thinking like this can cause someone to be imbalanced; where who that person is on the inside is not who that person is on the outside. For example, someone who is always performing good deeds only to one day be discovered to be not such a good person. Or, on not such a negative note, someone performs various outwardly good deeds and actually does good for others, yet within himself or herself is dissatisfied or in pain. Then there are others who prefer to read and think before doing anything. Those that prefer to internalize whatever wisdom they wish to employ before their bodies begin to act on it. Just like in the previous situation, it is possible to be imbalanced. In this case, the person may only think and think and not act upon those thoughts, staying in a sort of constant day dream, a constant fantasy of what he or she could be. There is no correct path, no perfect path, no specific and outlined way to overcome suffering, to move through the path of self-realization. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation, but figuring out what works best for you and what you are naturally inclined to do helps steer you in the right direction.
The thing to remember when dealing with whatever hardship, whether romantic or otherwise, is that however you work, however you decide to move it is no less meaningful, no less valuable, because it is how you work. Often we try to conform to other’s expectations, to live how others expect us to live, to work how others work, and this is what causes us to feel out of harmony, out of balance, even empty and lost. You may look to someone else and admire his or her way of living, of resolving issues, of getting results, and you may try to emulate them, but you will not have the same experience as that person because you are not that person. This is basic. We know this. Obviously you are not that person, but still, somehow we forget this and we try to act and behave like another. It is human nature. It stems from that part within us that longs to belong, to be loved. It is good, but the mind fogs that intention, that intention to belong and be loved, and we forget that in order to be loved and to belong we really don’t have to do anything more than be.
There is a whole world inside of you, it consists of your thoughts and your emotions. These immaterial things have very physical effects. Your thoughts affect your emotions. If you think poorly of yourself, you will feel poorly. If you think you are worthless, you will feel worthless. Most of the time, this action (the thinking something) and this reaction (the feeling that something) happens unconsciously. We are so unaware of how we think that how we feel seems to be out of our control. To a certain extent, it is. Because we pay so little attention to our thoughts, how we feel just happens. Then we attribute our emotions to external factors, delegating the responsibility of how we feel to those around us, to the things around us (what we lack and what we have), and to what happens to us. Of course our surroundings affect how we feel. Of course what others do and say can hurt us, but what I am saying is that we are not powerless to those emotions. We are not powerless to what others do, what is around us, at least, we don’t have to be. Though we may be physically hurt by others, what exists within does not have to remain hurt. Though love can tear you apart from within, that does not mean that you cannot put yourself back together.
If you find that you are only dreaming, imagining yourself doing things that make your heart race and feel alive, and you find that those things are just too far away, then you are being active within while being inactive without. Action within is everything that happens in your mind and everything that you feel; it is the motions of your soul.
Action without is how you behave and how you interact with others. If you find that what you are doing is no longer satisfying, no longer filling you up with happiness, peace, love, or whatever you desire and need, then you are being active without while being inactive within. You are not reflecting enough; you are not connected with yourself enough.
Sometimes, just moving and physically taking action can affect you enough that you begin to take action within; meaning that you begin to become aware of your inner workings. Really what this is, is awareness. Becoming aware of your thoughts, intentions, and feelings allow you to be everything you want to be. So, one method can lead to the other and everyone works differently. Figure out how and what comes more easily to you by trying it. Try that thing you have been meaning to do for awhile now. See how just doing something feels, how it affects your thought process. If you are constantly moving and doing, then take a moment to stop and do nothing; read, write, draw, explore, think.
Namaste.