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Founder & Sexologist

I believe love is the sun of the soul. With love in our hearts to light our way we are never lost, only exploring. 

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Delayed Ejaculation

Updated: Dec 28, 2020

Pleasure builds and builds, folding itself over your body, sliding down over your chest like an overly warm blanket, leaving splashes and hints of nirvana on your skin, until lower it goes and gathers heavily in your pelvis, threatening to burst, to tear your very consciousness apart, when suddenly it doesn’t happen. Orgasm can sometimes slip away from the tight grip of our hands and leave behind frustration amongst other warring emotions.

The sexual body is complex and when something goes wrong with it, it can be overwhelming trying to find a solution. Understanding what is wrong with yourself, what is out of harmony, is the first step to fixing it. There is a wide range of sex issues that can cause tension in a person’s sex life. For men, there are a few issues that are well-known.

The most common sexual health issue men face is premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is when ejaculation happens before the completion of an orgasm. On the opposite side of the spectrum is delayed ejaculation. Delayed ejaculation happens when a man has difficulty completing an orgasm and ejaculating. Delayed ejaculation is also called impaired ejaculation. Delayed ejaculation is not like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. In the case of delayed ejaculation, a man may not ejaculate at all during sex. So, it is not that there is difficulty in getting an erection, but that the erection lasts too long, specifically, 30 minutes or more. I’m sure some think that this is most definitely not a problem, but it is an issue that can have deep effects on a person and a relationship, like all the other sexual health issues.

Just like premature ejaculation is a natural part of a man’s sexual cycle, so is delayed ejaculation. However, when delayed ejaculation is consistent, it is a problem and may point to other health related issues.

Men who practice sacred sex and/or Tantra, or kundalini meditation, may occasionally experience delayed ejaculation. This may be due to the extra stores of sexual energy in the sexual body and chakras. This is a mismanagement of sexual energy and causes a stoppage of energetic flow. It can also happen when the person is about to reach new heights of sexual bliss and cosmic awareness.

What causes Delayed Ejaculation (DE)?

The causes of delayed ejaculation vary and are a mixture of both physical and mental aspects. Anxiety and depression, especially if it is linked to sexual performance, will only exacerbate sex issues resulting in delayed ejaculation. Substance abuse and stress may also play a role in the frequency and occurrence of delayed ejaculation.

Here is a list of DE causes according to The Mayo Clinic:

Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Certain birth defects affecting the male reproductive system

  • Injury to the pelvic nerves that control orgasm

  • Certain infections, such as a urinary tract infection

  • Prostate surgery, such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) or prostate removal

  • Neurological diseases, such as diabetic neuropathy, stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord

  • Hormone-related conditions, such as low thyroid hormone (hypothyroidism) or low testosterone (hypogonadism)

  • Retrograde ejaculation, a condition in which the semen goes backward into the bladder rather than out of the penis

Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions

  • Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns

  • Anxiety about performance

  • Poor body image

  • Cultural or religious taboos

  • Differences between the reality of sex with a partner and sexual fantasies

Medications and other substances that can cause delayed ejaculation include:

  • Some antidepresssants

  • Certain high blood pressure medications

  • Certain diuretics

  • Some antipsychotic medications

  • Some anti-seizure medications

  • Alcohol — particularly drinking too much (alcohol abuse or alcoholism)

Sexual health is essential to overall health. If you have serious concerns, consult a doctor. Get informed. In rare cases, delayed ejaculation is related to worsening heart health or diabetes. If you have any of those two health issues, discuss this with your doctor. If you are not comfortable discussing this with your doctor, it’s time for a new doctor!



The Mayo Clinic

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