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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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Being Centered in Your Spiritual Practice

It is important that in our spiritual practice we maintain a balance between what we want to believe and what actually exists. Because spirituality, whatever form you practice, is something so intimate and subjective, it can be difficult to be centered and balanced. I tend to question everything, especially myself, and so I have often found myself disappointed or challenged by my own spiritual beliefs. But there is much to gain from this and it is not something that I view negatively.

When I happen to discover that somehow I was wrong in my beliefs or anything of the sort, I do get upset, but that disappointment is followed by a quiet happiness. I become happy because I feel that I am learning and that I am improving; like I stopped believing a lie and lifted a veil from my eyes.

Practicing spirituality alone or not being part of any sort of community has its challenges. When I started to search for my own path I didn’t know where to begin or what to read. And when I read certain books they were so definitive and so convincing that I believed most of what I was reading. However, I felt that some things were not falling into place and felt that I somehow knew what was right for me. I believe intuition is the best and most accurate guide. Through my awareness and my intuition I have been able to learn and experience much. Even now, though things are not the best they can be and there is much instability, I feel safe and secure in my beliefs.

So, how do you stay centered in your spiritual practice? The first thing you must not do is let yourself believe that you have found the true path to God (or Source, and so on). The moment you believe you have found the true path your mind becomes closed to everything else that is available, and so, you might miss out on a lot more knowledge. This is the most important part about having a healthy spiritual practice, not being dismissive of others and their practices and beliefs. I think we can all benefit from each other and we can definitely learn a lot by looking at each other’s practices, even from the atheists, the Christians, and the Muslims. The second most important thing you can do to maintain yourself centered is to question. Be curious. Be doubtful of what you’re told, of what you read. Notice your own beliefs and how you live them, how you move through the world, and how you treat others.

Being safe and secure in your spiritual beliefs does not mean that you know everything there is to know about the universe. It is not about how much you know or what you know, or how fancy your language is, or how many people believe you. It is about knowing that it is okay to make mistakes and it is okay to not know everything, that you might be wrong, that things might and probably will change.

The truth is that there is no definitive truth when it comes to spiritual issues. There are millions of eyes and billions of stars and there are perhaps even more sides to the Truth.



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