Wounds. Time heals all wounds. That is one of the biggest lies people tell to assuage the pain they are feeling in the present. The truth is, time is indifferent to your pain and suffering. Time does not care for the wounds of the heart and soul. It is not time that dampens the throbbing pain we feel, but it is its covering and replacement with new hurts and new memories, that eases away the pain of death, loss, grief, and love. Time does not erase the past, memory does. It is the creation and loss of memory that soothes the primordial ache we carry. Time has very little to do with it.
Relying on time for healing. The thing about relying on time for inner healing is that it does not work and here's why. Simply waiting for the pain of depression, loneliness, loss, death, and love to go away with the passing of time will only solidify it's inhabitance within you. In your mind, heart, and soul, this pain you carry will remain and as time passes, sure it may become less noticeable, but it will swell at the most inopportune of times. When you most need to be yourself and stable, this underlying hurt will rise to the forefront of your consciousness and shut down your systems: your body will feel tired, you will physically and emotionally ache, and the pain will radiate throughout your whole being. But, depending on how much time has passed since the original wound or hurt, you will either be able to identify its origins and causes or it will seem like a meaningless void, a vacuum born of nothing ready to consume you. This is when we experience those moments of sudden sadness without cause or anger to minor grievances. Mysterious and random, this pain manifests in our lives to wreak havoc when we most want peace. Therefore, to heal internal turmoil, the passing of time is an ineffective cure.
Healing through time. Healing through time is not the same as waiting for time to heal. To heal through time you must think of yourself as somewhat of a time traveler. Think yourself capable of going both back in time and forward in time. This takes courage as facing the past is inevitably painful and facing the future breeds fear and uncertainty. So, to heal through time requires that you be ready for the ups and downs of the journey, that you be capable of resting and caring for yourself when weary of travel, and have an anchor in the present to bring you back.
No, I am not talking about actual time travel, but for those of you who dabble in the esoteric traditions, the nature traditions, the traditions of Gods and Goddesses, this awareness of the passage of time might be more acute. For some of us, we may have strange moments of déjà vu, periods in your life that are similar if not the exact same as earlier periods in your life. Have you ever been in a place in your life where you ask yourself, "Why does this keep happening to me?" or "Not again!" Time brings about events that repeat the same pains, obstacles, and losses we may have already experienced.
Why? Why is it that "history repeats it self?" Time is giving you the opportunity, the chance to change. Time is offering you the opportunity to react differently to the challenge before you. Sometimes, it is to allow you to heal that old hurt that you carry by bringing it to the forefront of your experience. Of course, it is a difficult and often painful process to re-experience past trauma, whether by way of new trauma or the recalling of the original trauma. So why does this happen? Because life is cyclical and unless each cycle is broken it is bound to repeat itself.
How to heal. Think again of yourself as a time traveler and this time know that you can go back in time through memory. Just as memory can dampen old pain it can also enlighten it. To travel back in time and heal yourself, you will, thankfully, not need to build a time machine. You will simply use the power of your memory, both mental and soul, to take yourself back to the point where you experience the hurt. Once you are in the experience remember to breathe and tell yourself "I'm ok." Realize that you made it through once and you can do it again. When these old feelings of pain come, the bring with them their memories, and it is important to recognize these moments as healing opportunities. Surround yourself with warmth and love. That might include a warm blanket, lighting a candle or two, playing some music, cuddling your partner or your pets. The way through the pain while recalling the past hurts is to have the tools to help you. Do that thing you love even if you have tears in your eyes while you do it. It might be drawing, writing, singing, or dancing. It is okay to cry and release those old hurts. This begins your healing.
Namaste.