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Melissa Portan MSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide and healer who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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How to Find Your Soul Mate


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Here are a couple of things you can do to attract the soul mate you desire:

1. Clarify what kind of soul mate and what kind of relationship you want. Do you want a short-term relationship? Do you want to get married? Depending on how you answer these questions the soul mate that fits into your life will come around. Once you have clarity in your life you will be able to distinguish between relationships that are wasting your time, repetitive relationships, harmful relationships, and you will have more energy to allow your soul mate to reach you. Think of all the relationships or connections you have made with men or with women that have led to less than what you had hoped for and think of them as grey clouds hiding the sun from you. Once you understand and see what you want and what works for you, you can begin to one by one move those clouds until the sun is once again revealed.

2. Take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself should be number one on this list but often we consider ourselves later on in the process that is love. Take care of yourself. Do what you love to do. Be good at what you love to do because when you are certain of who you are and what you do and what you are meant to do, you will not get lost in life or in a relationship. Maintain your health and your identity. Knowing who you are will, again, open that energy channel to connect you with your soul mate and the universe will move to bring you together. When you are certain of who you are and you are taking care of yourself you become ten times more attractive…to everyone. Confidence and beauty radiate from within you and that light will attract your soul mate.

3.  Perhaps this may sound odd or counterintuitive, but don’t think about it. Do