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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Premature Ejaculation: The Squeeze Method

Premature ejaculation affects many men and it adds stress to any relationship. Here is a method you can use to delay your ejaculation and improve the strength of your erection. You can do this exercise with a partner or on your own and you can do this during sex to keep yourself from ejaculating.


It is first recommended that you do this exercise alone to get familiar with the sensations of your body and to get familiar with how the process works and how it will affect you. If this is your first time trying this exercise, you do not want it to be during sex where there is penetration because you don’t know if you will lose your erection completely and how difficult it may be to regain it. However, once you know how to do it and how your body will react to it you can use it during sex. With practice, you might rarely resort to this technique. (There is another post that can help you become more aware of the sensations of the body here. It also allows you to incorporate Tantra or sacred sex.)


So, the squeeze method, as outlined by Dr. Andrew Stanway in his book, Massage Secrets for Lovers: The Ultimate Guide for Lovers, has four steps.


squeeze_tech

1. Masturbate without lubrication to the point you nearly cum.

2. Squeeze hard with your fingers and thumb the area below the rim; the area that connects the head of the penis to the shaft. This causes your erection to subside.

3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 multiple times, each time focusing on the sensations in your body.

4. Repeat, using lots of lubricant and then let yourself cum.


The reason Dr. Stamway seems to recommend that you not use lubricant when beginning this exercise is because of the friction that will be created with your hand and penis; because it will allow for more sensitivity. Your hands have many many nerve endings and your fingers are capable of being focused on specific areas. Doing this exercise will allow you to learn and connect more with the form of your penis and to know its most sensitive parts. Also, no lubricant makes it more difficult to reach orgasm/ejaculation. (At least, that is the idea behind it.)


Most men do not know that they have a clitoris. The area you will be squeezing during this exercise is where the male clitoris is located. Putting pressure and rubbing this area is very pleasurable; however, putting excessive pressure will cause the erection to subside. The male clitoris is on the underside of the penis, at the ridge, and slightly underneath it, that connects the glans, the head, to the shaft.


You can include your partner in this exercise and it will allow her or him to become familiar with the signs of your body. She will come to know what your sensitive spots are and when to stimulate and when to avoid them.


With practice the occurrence of premature ejaculation will decline and can even be eliminated. There will always be those days when the body is too tired to maintain a prolonged erection and it is natural for it to be that way.

Namaste.



Reference:

Stanway, A. (2003). Massage secrets for lovers: the ultimate guide to intimate arousal. London: Quadrille.

 

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