Melissa Portan MSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide and healer who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


  • Pinterest - Grey Circle
  • Facebook - Grey Circle
  • Twitter - Grey Circle
  • YouTube - Grey Circle
  • Instagram - Grey Circle
  • M

Sex, Spirituality, and Enlightenment

Often when people think about spirituality they do not think of sex. These two, sex and spirituality, are often kept apart. Either you practice spirituality or you practice sex. And yet, we have ancient cultures and scriptures that tell us the opposite, that tell us that sex and spirituality are united. If we take it a step further and mix in various spiritual teachings from Hinduism, Taoism, and others, then the idea of enlightenment begins to enter the equation.

What is enlightenment? There are many definitions of it. Enlightenment is as the word itself implies, a state of light. It is a state of light that illuminates the world within and the world without. Once the world is flooded with light, we can see everything and hopefully understand everything. Enlightenment is often described as a state of perpetual bliss. There are many ways to describe this ethereal state that we are always searching for. It is when sex, spirituality, and enlightenment combine that confusion, different opinions/philosophies, begin to collide. In certain spiritual practices, sex alone can take you to enlightenment. In others, sex needs to be avoided in order to reach that higher state of consciousness. But many believe that love is where we come from, that it is our essence, our core. Religions like Christianity preach universal love. Spiritual paths often lead to a higher state of love. So how is love, sex, spirituality, and enlightenment reconciled in a practice? It really depends on your beliefs and perspectives on sex, and your understanding or view of the universe.

The one thing that people search for more than enlightenment is love. A conversation on the subway about enlightenment is rare whereas a conversation on love is commonplace. Books written about love or romance sell many more copies than books written about enlightenment. Television shows about enlightenment are rare, if nonexistent. And it is love that often gives birth to wonderful stories of personal transformation. These are the stories friends tell each other, the stories grandparents tell of how they met each other, the stories that captivate because of the whirlwind of love and transformation. It is these common stories, not novels or anything of the sort, that people tell each other, that others hope to experience, that many seek to write through their own actions. Why? Because love is a powerful force. It may sound cliché and all, but because the human heart is always yearning for love, because it is the topic of many many books and philosophers, of nearly all religions and spiritualties, its power is undeniable. How loves transforms a person depends on him or her, but when the power of love is mixed with spirituality something new emerges.

When love for another combines with spirituality you begin to get the first rays of enlightenment in your life. And this happens gradually. Suddenly you see the world differently because you are in love. Then there are the changes that sex causes in a person. And you feel physically more grounded, more alive, and vibrating with vital force. And then, lastly, you add in the spiritual. You complete the circle and become this ball of light that suddenly beams upwards to the unknown. This is enlightenment. Its beginning. And you didn’t have to do any spells or rituals to reach enlightenment. All you had to do was find that special love. To move in enlightenment, because it is a state of existence not a destination, is to move in love.

Here is a video from Acharya Shree Yogeesh. I agree with most of what he says. I believe there are many ways to become enlightened, there is not one true path. I also believe you can reach enlightenment alone, without a physical partner. Everyone has different choices available to them and none is lesser than the other, so long as there is love.  At the center of all of these philosophies is one thing: love. And as long as we hold on to love we will find the light.

Namaste, friends and enjoy the video.

#enlightenment #sexandspirituality #spirituality


Recent Posts

See All

Wounds. Time heals all wounds. That is one of the biggest lies people tell to assuage the pain they are feeling in the present. The truth is, time is indifferent to your pain and suffering. Time does