top of page

Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


  • Pinterest - Grey Circle
  • Facebook - Grey Circle
  • Twitter - Grey Circle
  • YouTube - Grey Circle
  • Instagram - Grey Circle
  • Writer's pictureM

The Female Orgasm

The female orgasm has always been something of reverence and curiosity. The orgasm is the peak of a woman’s sexuality, of her sensuality, and her allure. Through the orgasm a woman releases her true self and experiences unity with her entire being.

The female orgasm is scientifically defined as being uncontrollable spasms of the vaginal muscles resulting in a release of hormones that give great pleasure. But it is so much more than that. An orgasm, both for men and women is so much more than the organic biological explosions that happen in the body. An orgasm can be the manifestation of love for another, the release of that love, a giving of love between persons. It can be a moment where there is no time and space, only the sensations of pleasure. And it can be the beginning of a life.

For a woman, an orgasm can originate from different points on her body. Some woman can only orgasm by stimulating their clitoris. Others can orgasm with vaginal penetration and without stimulating the clitoris. There are also women that can orgasm with only having their breasts stroked and even others with only visualization. Regardless of how a woman orgasms, it happens because of a mixture of elements.

How long it takes to reach orgasm varies from woman to woman. Some can reach orgasm very easily while others need more time. The women that need more time to orgasm have been a challenge to men everywhere, a challenge that is sometimes not met. However long it may take a woman to reach her apex of pleasure, each orgasm feels different.

When the explosion of pleasure originates from the clitoris the orgasm feels superficial. This means that the orgasm expands from the clitoris over to the mons veneris and down the legs to the very toes and then up the navel, and then moves inside the vagina, touching the internal clitoris. This does not mean that this type of orgasm is any less intense or pleasurable the an orgasm reached by penetration, nor is it any less or more an orgasm. Every woman is different and how she feels her orgasm move varies. Sometimes a clitoral orgasm may only be focused on the clitoris and navel area. If she is stroking her breasts when she climaxes, or if her breasts are being touched and caressed, she might feel her nipples tingle with the pleasure of the orgasm.

If the orgasm originates from within the vagina because of penetration either by a penis or a vibrator/dildo, it feels different from a clitoral orgasm. (Some women might say they feel no difference between a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm.) Many things happen when the vagina is being penetrated. The intensity and sensations of the orgasm depend on the speed of the thrusting, the depth, and the girth of the penis or vibrator/dildo. Her sexuality is complex and encompasses her whole body, so if she is being stroked in other areas her orgasm changes or intensifies because of it. But the vaginal orgasm is what some might describe as deep. It originates from inside, from the vagina and extends down to her opening, to her labia minora. From there, depending on the angle of the penis or sex toy, her perineum might be stimulated. This kind of orgasm, the vaginal orgasm, feels lower in the body and further closer to the spine.

(To my fellow women.I don’t want to be general and put all women in the same category or say that all women experience orgasms this way, so if you experience it differently or disagree that is absolutely okay. It does not mean that there is something wrong with you or that this is wrong. The complexity of human sexuality is so great and profound that it is difficult to describe and even more so to categorize. But this is not to categorize the orgasm you or I experience. This is to bring awareness to this very intimate part of our sexuality and existence, to appreciate it; thereby, exalting it from something secret and obscure to something we can fully experience and something that can be shared with our partners and understood by them.)

The breast orgasm or the orgasm that is brought about by only or mostly stroking the breasts, is more rare than the aforementioned.* Some women have very sensitive breasts,  areolas, and nipples. For this type of orgasm to happen the woman has to love her breasts, meaning that she has to think them sexy and enjoy being touched there. If not, then it is unlikely an orgasm will come from only sucking, stroking, pinching, and massaging the breasts. Size of the breasts does not matter. Note that a woman’s cycle affects her breasts’ sensitivity and how she feels about them.

The anal orgasm. It happens only with anal penetration. Regardless of what most might think, both men and women, some women enjoy anal sex or anal stimulation. With this type of orgasm the perineum is being stimulated and this area is also very sensitive and provides pleasure. If the vaginal orgasm was deep than this one goes further in and low and rises up the spine directly, tugging at vaginal pleasure zones, giving an orgasm.

The visualization orgasm is complicated.** Some don’t believe a woman can have this type of orgasm. Both women and men might doubt that an orgasm from visualization and no physical contact is not possible. What happens during this type of orgasm is the woman relaxes and goes into a fantasy. She experiences arousal, erect nipples, and moist labia minora and majora. When her fantasy reaches the point of orgasm she physically experiences it. Her vaginal muscles clench and release and the orgasm falls over her.

The female body is whole, it is complete, and her sexuality travels through every single connection on her body. Whether it is the clitoral orgasm or any other kind of orgasm, it happens through her whole body. Her mind/brain connection allows her to perceive and receive pleasure from various points. The mind is what connects the touches of the hand on the breasts to the movements in the vagina. A woman’s sexuality and orgasm is a whole body experience and if allowed, can be a body/soul experience.

Sometimes an orgasm does not need to be understood.


*The breast orgasm may not be as rare as people think. Some men have also reported that they can reach orgasm in this manner too.  Here is a short scientific article on the topic. (Sacred sex/Tantra allows for men and women to establish a connection between the genitals and breasts/nipples. Stick with this blog for more on this topic.)

**The visualization orgasm is something that happens on the astral plane and is simultaneously experienced on the physical plane. In scientific terms, it is something the brain totally controls, but in spiritual terms it occurs because of the movement of energy. It is a mixture of both. (Twin souls experience this type of sexual union with each other even if they have never met.)

A red rose. A symbol of love.

A red rose. A symbol of love.


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page