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Founder & Sexologist

I believe love is the sun of the soul. With love in our hearts to light our way we are never lost, only exploring. 

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Twin Souls: Difficulties

The twin soul relationship. The twin soul relationship is often seen as being the perfect relationship or the ideal relationship. The reality of what a twin soul relationship is, is often misunderstood and/or misrepresented. It is true that the twin soul relationship is the ideal relationship, but it is the ideal relationship for those who are in that relationship. We must remember that we are all on different paths and what is ideal for someone might not be ideal for someone else. And so, sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the idea of the ideal or of the perfect love and to believe in a perfect relationship. But, what is the perfect relationship?

Perhaps I have already said this in previous posts, but the twin soul relationship is a union, both a physical and spiritual union, of two persons who are perfect for each other, who compliment each other perfectly; thus, creating a perfect union. But the union is perfect not because the lack of differences between the twins, nor because it is a superior relationship (it’s not), nor because the twins get along well. The perfection of this type of union, and probably of any other type of union, is because one person brings out the best of the other, because the twins challenge each other in ways no one else can. In the end what this means is that there are challenges and difficulties in this relationship. (What are twin souls?)


The first difficulty twin souls deal with is with accepting the relationship. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? If this is the greatest love you will ever have, that you are meant to have, why would you not accept it? It has to do with the circumstances in which the twins meet. Some twins do not even know each other physically and communicate through spirit or by what is known as telepathy. And so, for someone who may not have previous experience with this type of powerful love attraction or any experience with the spiritual, this experience, this initial meeting, will upset all logic and set beliefs. With everything in the person’s life suddenly changing and suddenly not having the same importance or meaning, it becomes difficult to accept the twin soul relationship. Here is where the running and chasing between the twins occurs.

The second difficulty that occurs in the twin soul relationship is this accepting followed by denying of each other. Some refer to this as the cosmic dance of love, or as the chase and running period. One of the twins is known as the runner while the other is the chaser. The runner is the person in the relationship who is less spiritually awakened and the chaser is the opposite, he or she embraces the spiritual reality much more easily. Not all twin soul relationships are the same and there are cases where both twins are equally awakened. But the chase and running period may last months or years. Some writers of this topic say that this period of running and chasing, which is a period of separation and union, lasts three years. It is difficult to say whether it’s true and if it applies to all twin soul relationships. Also, the running and chasing period may also be about other aspects of life, not just accepting the spiritual changes or the relationship, but an exchange of knowledge between both. Think of this period as also being a time where one overwhelms the other, like a an all-consuming blanket covering the other twin only to be overtaken, in time, by the other. So this is a time for losing yourself in the other person. This is when there is the loss of identity, of individuality, where the illusion of separation becomes clear only to be more palpable.

As the twin soul relationship progresses and the couple joins their souls even more, there begin to arise different challenges. There is a phase in the relationship that is like a mirage, filled with illusions, both positive and negative. This mirage in the relationship sometimes separates the couple and other times joins them. Since this is a highly spiritual union, the mirage, confusion, and illusions can be caused by negative energy wishing to keep the twins at odds, keeping them out of balance and from achieving their complete reunion. By negative energy I mean dark spirits, demons, ghosts, and the mundane; such as, negative relationships, interference from others, and so on. There is no simple explanation to this aspect of the relationship and evolution of the souls. I have come to think of this aspect as being a necessary evil, something like medicine that is bitter but beneficial. At least, that can be the case. For other twins, negativity and the darkness might prove too strong to overcome. However, with the belief in twin souls come the belief in destiny and that these two are meant to be together and will be together. So, again, it is not simple to explain and it varies from person to person.

Jealousy is a very serious and difficult matter. The possibility of jealousy in the twin soul relationship is very very high. There are different ways to be jealous. Consider that twins are really one being, one super-soul. In their oneness, even if they are not entirely aware of their spiritual state, there is exclusivity and very little room for others. This is one way jealousy creeps into the relationship, by their intimacy and closeness and innate fear of losing the other again, of experiencing that primordial separation in the flesh. There is also the jealousy of the material. Perhaps one of the twins is better off financially than the other. Jealousy can also mean that one twin wants to be like the other and is angry of the fact that he or she is not. Perhaps one of the twins thinks himself or herself inferior to the other. Sometimes, twins have to have other relationships before being fully reunited. These relationships are extremely painful to both, because often, there is confusion and love. When one of the twins has to have a relationship, it happens because life has made it so, and frustration and jealousy ensues. (Some people refer to these relationships has karmic contracts, I cringe at the word contract and consider them as lessons and experiences that will in the end prove their worth.) Whatever type of jealousy it is, there is absolutely no escaping it.


“Chasing The Storm” by Johnny Worthington

There is zero leeway. There is no escape in the twin soul relationship. This is another challenge that the twins face, which many find very unpleasant at first, at that is the lack of privacy. There is no privacy between the twins. If one of the twins is jealous of the other, the other will know, causing guilt and maybe even bitterness in the one being envied. Because the twins are one being, they are able to communicate in ways that transcend the physical. Twin souls are able to understand each other without speaking and to feel each other without touching. The deep connection between the twins, an ethereal bridge formed by love, is why there is no privacy of thought and emotions. In the beginning, when the twins are out of balance and getting to know each other all over again, this sudden invasion of privacy is not easy. There is judgment done by both. Each is judging the other, telling the other what is wrong, what is right, what to change, and so on. Some respond by running from the relationship, others fight the twin, causing hate to bounce between them, and others embrace the changes.

Because there is zero leeway, everything is equal. Looking into the eyes of your twin is not easy. Eye contact is always difficult for one of the twins or both. Again, this is one of those odd things, but it is because of the deep connection, a connection that is very old, that eye contact can be an issue. Looking into the eyes of the other twin is like looking into a mirror, one that reflects everything, everything without airbrushing, or providing a cushion. (To read more on how the twins mirror each other, go here.) The zero tolerance in the relationship causes both to reflect each other’s actions, however ugly or pretty they may be, to each other. Because of how little room there is for error, the relationship can be stressful. There is a constant challenge and improvement going on between both, each one pushing the other to be a better person, and this can sometimes be annoying, tiresome, and frustrating.

Then there is doubt. In a relationship where the twin soul does not exist, where soul mates don’t exist, or even with the belief of soul mates, there is little doubt of the existence of the relationship; meaning that usually when in a relationship, say with a girlfriend, there is no doubt that you are in fact with a girlfriend. Twin souls often pass through periods of doubt, where they doubt if they are each other’s twin, where they doubt their spiritual path, where they doubt if there even is such a thing as twin souls. Doubt causes everything we have just discussed to be amplified. When one of the twins doubts, the other feels it, gets angry about, feels hurt about it, gets jealous about, and then, both bring negative energy into their relationship, causing them to separate, causing them to fight, pushing the other into other relationships, and so on. Doubt is a tricky thing because at the beginning of the relationship there is almost none. Each twin is enveloped in the other, both are excited, and it is when that excitement surpasses their expectations that retrospection begins and doubt sets in.

So, the twin soul relationship comes with many challenges. It is a different type of relationship that does not adhere to the already well-known rules of love and relationships. But twin souls are resilient and their love for each other can allow them to weather the storm.


Photo Credit: Melissa Portan

Photo Credit: Melissa Portan

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