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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Twin Souls vs. Soul Mates: The Difference at the Beginning


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“Zinnowitz Beach” by Adrian D.


What is the difference between a soul mate and a twin soul? For some, these terms are interchangeable. Some people use the term twin soul to describe any romantic relationship. And for others that have never heard of the term twin soul, they use the term soul mate for every romantic relationship. But, that is not the case. As always, I am also going to include the other perspective, and that is that such things as twin souls and soul mates don’t exist. But, I think that they do and I think using these two terms interchangeably causes confusion, misinformation, disappointment, and so on.

See, we are talking about love. Love is something intimate that every person experiences differently and that makes it difficult to talk about in broad terms. We’re trying to specify and categorize this huge, metaphysically gaseous thing and that is going to create grey areas. A certain points, soul mates and twin soul characteristics overlap and this can cause even more confusion.

But there is one easy way to describe the main difference of these relationships: soul mate relationships are easy while twin soul relationships are filled with hardship. Now, I want to be careful in explaining what I mean by easy.

When soul mate find each other there is an instant connection. They start talking easily. They have a lot in common. They have the same interests. For example, there is a bus stop. At the bus stop there is a woman waiting for the bus. Man comes around and also waits for the bus, taking his place two feet away from her. They look at each other, casually, and immediately and simultaneously each thinks and feels “Hey! I know you! How you doin’?”

So, when I say a soul mate relationship is easy I do not mean that the couple won’t have challenges. Soul mates, like everyone else, will deal with jealousy, hate, fear, and anything else life wants to throw at them. But what makes or shows the soul mate connection is that familiarity with each other.

On the contrary, when twin souls find each other it is a bit different. Let’s keep the same scenario to illustrate the differences. There is a bus stop. At the bus stop there is a woman waiting for the bus. Man comes around and also waits for the bus, taking his place two feet away from her. They look at each other, casually, and immediately and simultaneously each becomes tense. Something at the core of both twins tenses and each thinks “Woa! What am I doing in there?”

Each of the twins see’s herself or himself in the other and that can be unnerving. At first it is like a jolt of electricity that runs deep down the spine, deep into the very core of your soul. And it is like looking into the sun, blinding, blinding with truth. Each recognizes himself in the other and that is strange. What am I doing in there? Aren’t I here? In my own body? My god, we may have different bodies and have little physical similitude, but boy do you look like me.

This is the difference between the relationships at the beginning of each. Of course, each couple is going to experience its own beginning and each will come into their own knowledge.

Namaste.

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