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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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Meditation: What is it? And How Is It Practiced?

Original Publication: Dec. 13, 2013 at

At the beginning of my spiritual path I did not want to meditate. I was extremely reluctant because I arrogantly thought I did not need to. And I had the perception that most people have of it; which is, meditation is boring and difficult. Then one day I decided to give it a try. I realized then that meditation is something I have always done, something that I did without knowing. So, what is meditation? Meditation can be used in many different manners for different reasons and be done in many different positions. You can even meditate while you have sex! (Even if it is solo or with a partner/s).

At its core, meditation is to become aware of the breath, the body, and the soul. There is emphasis on the breath both to relax and to energize. Through meditation we can become aware of the flow of life, both the physical and ethereal. Meaning that we can physically trace the movement of life with the breath and we can feel the ethereal, the non physical part of life or the divine part of life, when we feel energized or relaxed or when we suddenly realize something.

So, meditation can be used to relax, to find the answer to a question regardless of how mundane or ethereal it may be, to focus the mind, to connect with the twin soul/higher self/the gods/god/source/the self/the Universe, to remember anything (past lives), to exercise the will over reality (magick), or to simply be. There is no limit to what meditation can do because the mind itself is limitless.

Meditation is the acknowledgment of the activities of the mind followed by the relaxation of the mind. This is the case when we want to relax. We can relax by noticing what the mind is doing, what you are thinking, acknowledging it, and then letting it go. Or we relax by seeing and understanding the problem, by seeing that it really isn't that bad. Letting go is very difficult. Sometimes, even if we meditate and do yoga or do an activity that usually helps us, we won't be able to let go. And that is okay. Try this wonderful short video, it is about ten minutes long. It is a guided, gentle meditation. You can do it either sitting or lying down.

Different spiritual practices have different ways of practicing meditation. Some don't even call it meditation or it doesn't translate in to English as the word meditation. Some use drums or the sitar or the flute and so on, to elevate or relax the mind or to stimulate the mind.

Regardless of which path you are on, meditation is something you do naturally, something you have done naturally without knowing. Are you an artistic person? Do you write? Do you sing? Play an instrument? Do you act? Paint? Anything that requires creativity, focus, imagination, uses meditation. Why? Well, meditation does help us become aware of our bodies, but it also helps us become detached from our bodies. This detachment from the body does not mean that one stops caring about the body. This kind of detachment is loving. This kind of detachment allows us to leave our current state and surroundings to connect with the internal universe, thus allowing us to create wonderful things. By the way, those with a scientific mind also use a form of meditation. There is not a person that does not meditate. This is because meditation is to use the mind to focus on something or to expand consciousness.

You can meditate while you have sex. This is especially true in spiritual sex and tantric sex. There are many techniques but most center around eye contact or breath unison and exchange of energy during intercourse. A few sex positions great for this kind of meditation are the missionary positions, the yab yum, and the girl on top. For partners that are more experienced with each other, eye contact is not necessary. And for twin souls neither eye contact or physical contact is necessary.

You don't have to meditate for hours, even two minutes are beneficial. Meditation will allow you to know yourself and you will discover many things about yourself.




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