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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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The Near Twin

Updated: Dec 28, 2020



The heart splinters as it tries to withhold the soul’s yearning for that which we often call our other half. This other half is called the twin soul. It is the essence within us that searches, calls, pulls, and loves that foreign yet familiar part of ourselves. In that search, the soul may encounter what is less known and less understood: the near twin.

The near twin is a facsimile of the twin soul. It is incredibly difficult to distinguish between the twin soul and the near twin. This leads to confusion, conflict, internal conflict, pain, longing, and sadness. What makes this more challenging is that some can be in a long-term relationship with the near twin and believe that this is their twin soul, only to suddenly meet their twin soul and realize the difference.

Why does this happen? Though I describe the near twin as a facsimile, that is not to say that it is a mistake. That a person struggles with identifying their twin soul and distinguishing it from a possible near twin, is not the fault of anybody involved in the relationship. The near twin is a necessary part of the twin soul relationship and I believe it is something that the older, as in soul age, twins encounter. I believe that the near twin is a necessary precursor to the twin soul. As always, this is my current belief and it may change with my experience. If it does, then I will write another post. When it comes to soul relationships and relationships in general, I believe there are many answers which are in constant flux.

When I discuss the near twin with others, I often refer to the near twin as the 3/4th twin. This is because I view the near twin as being the final relationship before the twin soul relationship comes to absolute fruition. I think the challenge we all have when it comes to this type of relationship is; when?

How long does the near twin relationship last? I think it varies. The near twin is a necessary part of the spiritual growth of the twins and it will bring profound challenges to the twin soul relationship, or to the soul mate relationship. Even soul mates can cause difficulties in a twin soul relationship as the love of the heart and the familiarity of the soul can be strong in a soul mate relationship as well. But the near twin will bring out the harsh realities of your soul.

I consider the near twin to be part of the “dark side” of the twin soul relationship. The near twin will bring out the ugly in you, that faults in you, the insecurities, the fears, and the love in you. If anything, the near twin will teach you that it is possible to love another quite intensely, almost as you love your twin, and that you can have altering spiritual experiences elsewhere too. Suddenly, the exclusivity of the twin soul vanishes. This can cause anger, fear, confusion, and disillusion. The disillusion comes from the shattering of that ingrained belief that what you have with your twin soul is exclusive, that the love is singular. This is why I believe that only the older twins will encounter a near twin that challenges the belief of ownership, exclusivity, and singular love. The anger then comes from feeling as if you have betrayed your partner, or vice versa, in feeling so strongly for another. Fear of losing the true twin. Fear of being wrong all along, of it all being a lie. Fear of being crazy. And confusion about everything.

So, the near twin adds complexity and difficulty to the twin soul relationship. It’ll be a time of conflict, both within yourself and your partner, whether that be your twin, your soul mate, or your near twin. This cycle comes to an end when you can love your near twin freely without the bitterness, without the fear of betrayal, and with an appreciation of what they made you realize.

Namaste.

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