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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Increasing Your Sexual Energy

Sometimes the desire to have sex and to make love with and to your partner is just not there either because there is too much going on or because of exhaustion or even because there is no passion. Because there is no passion it does not mean that there is not love which could be very confusing and put stress on a relationship. There are also situations where you do not feel attractive, sexy, good enough, and all the negative thoughts and feelings keep you from touching yourself or your partner. Sometimes even in masturbation there is difficulty arousing yourself and reaching orgasm.

The energy known as the kundalini is rooted at the base of your spine, around and beneath your sexual organs, and it is in the sacral

chakra that your sexual energy is locked. Enlightenment, peace, love, and more can be achieved through meditation, sacred sex/Tantra, and it begins at the base of the body, at the root chakra. To reach enlightenment the energy, the serpent of energy that is the kundalini, moves through the chakras from the bottom up to the crown chakra.

For some it is easy to move their kundalini, for others it takes more practice. For those that are experiencing a stagnant sexuality, the kundalini may be low in the sacral chakra and higher in other chakras. For example: someone that is in a relationship and has a low sacral energetic output may have a high heart chakra energetic output and be in love with his or her partner but unable or reluctantly or with difficulty express and engage in sexual activity.

When the energy of the sacral and root chakras are stagnant, issues arise: psychological, physical, and spiritual. Some physical issues that arise in men are weakened erections, premature ejaculation, unsatisfactory ejaculations/orgasms, low sexual/mental stamina (quickly losing interest in sex/flirting mentally and distracted from the activities). In women, some physical issues that arise from a stagnant sacral chakra are: difficulty getting aroused and wet, desensitized clitoris/vagina (meaning that a touch across the clitoris is not as arousing as it once was or never has been arousing), disinterest in sex, weak unsatisfactory orgasms, when negative/heavy energy is kept in the sacral region heavy menstruation and painful cramps can occur. Remember that the body is physical and that it is a whole unit with many connections. Problems in one area can be caused by issues somewhere else. Problems in the physical can cause problems in the astral/spiritual and vice versa. Always, if you are concerned about your health consult a doctor, the advice you find here is to supplement and enrich your physical existence and to expand you awareness, as well as my own.

In order to raise your sexual energy, to awaken your kundalini, the root and sacral chakras must first be aroused. There are many ways to rouse the kundalini from its dormant state. One way to stimulate the root chakra, the energetic center that affects and governs our physical needs and our instinct for survival, is by doing exercise. When you feel your basic needs have been met, when you feel that you are taking care of yourself, the root chakra glows, opens up and gives out energy. You feel satisfied and comfortable with your body, even if it is momentary and you are still striving to get fit or get healthy. Another way is to meditate. There are mantras, certain words and phrases that you repeat/chant that activate these energetic centers. Crystals and different types of stones also help clear energetic blockages and awaken the kundalini. However, crystals and stones alone will not activate your chakras but they will ease the process and even speed up the effects of the newly opened chakras. Lastly and the rarest perhaps, is activating your kundalini through sex. Either through masturbation or coitus, the kundalini can be activated. By focusing the energy that rises during arousal, which is the kundalini, the root and sacral chakras can be cleansed and further opened.

The result of practicing these techniques will be an increased libido. The results may be instant or gradual, depending on there being other blockages. If there are unresolved issues or unhealed wounds your sexual energy may take longer to ignite. While doing this exercise things might arise that you thought were resolved and you might realize that they, these issues, still affect you. Sometimes things unrelated to sex affect our sexuality and sex drive, so while doing this I recommend that you keep your mind open and do not block any corners. If there are secrets and dark hard pains you keep only to yourself and are aware of their effects and you still want to avoid them, that is okay. Take this exercise and focus on what you want to get out of it and touch the corners of your secrets or pains. As you go along in you spiritual practice, these things will be resolved or they will hold you back, but when I say hold you back, I do not mean you will fall behind but that it will take longer to reconcile yourself. Everyone is on different spiritual paths and different soul cycles, regardless of how long it takes to improve your sex drive and to raise your kundalini, approach your body with understanding. And although your sexuality may not be unleashed and may take longer to do so, it does not mean that enlightenment is not possible for you. You are still capable of self-love and receiving new knowledge. The spiritual world is open to everyone.

Namaste.


A red rose. A symbol of love.

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