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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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The Near Twin

"Conversation in the Rain" by Dom Crossley

“Conversation in the Rain” by Dom Crossley

There are soul mates. There are twin souls. Within the category of soul mates there are a variety of sub categories, each one providing a different facet of love. We all have soul mates and we all have twin souls; however, not everyone is here to be with their twin, not everyone is looking for a soul mate, not everyone wants or needs the same things. Twin souls are rare and the relationship, whatever form it takes, is strenuous. Aside from the oddities that make the twin soul relationship rare (telepathy, spiritual aspects, fear, doubt), there is what is known as the near twin.

Often writers of this unconfirmed, unproven topic, ignore the subject of the near twin. Why? Well, because what there is to say about the near twin is not pleasant. Perhaps fear of losing readers or followers keeps writers treading on egg shells. Or, these writers don’t know what they’re writing about and get their information from other writers who also don’t know anything. The near twin is often considered a negative, something that should be avoided, and it is barely understood. The near twin adds another level of complexity to the already complex twin soul topic. What the near twin brings to the scene may be contradictory to what is already understood or it may seem that way at first, causing fear and pain. That is why this topic is avoided. I don’t know if everyone in a twin soul relationship will meet a near twin, but it seems to be a necessary part of the soul’s evolution. Keep in mind that not all of this and not all of what is written on the topic is definitive. How could it be? We are exploring and learning and wherever I have doubts I will let you know.

What is the near twin? If the twin soul is the other half, the perfect counterpart for the soul, then the near twin is the quarter half. The near twin resembles the twin soul. It is not the quarter half, that is just a metaphor, but the resemblance between the twin and the near twin is so great that it can be indistinguishable. Twin souls share the same energy, the same mind, the same heart. But this is not in the physical, it is in the spiritual that the twins were one and can again become one. This unity manifests in the physical through a very passionate and difficult love. It is a love that is equal both in giving and receiving. The near twin, however, does not share the same energy, the same soul energy, but it resembles your own energy. Each twin has a near twin. Just as everyone has a twin soul, everyone has near twin.

In a situation where the twins have somehow met, either physically or spiritually, and the near twins appear, confusion, discord, fear, anger, and fights arise. It could be that both twins individually and separately run into their own near twin, or that one does be for the other, or that only one twin meets with his or her near twin. There are various reasons for meeting the near twin, many reasons and lessons. The main reason for this type of relationship is that the near twin provides lessons about love. What those lessons are is personal, varies from person to person, and how long the relationship lasts also varies. A near twin relationship can last a lifetime or just a few months.

There are signs or characteristics of the twin soul relationship and the near twin heavily resembles those signs. It is this extreme similarity between the two, the near twin and the twin, that causes confusion and doubt. Suddenly, you’re not sure if he is your twin soul? Is she really your twin? The twin soul love is profound and while enveloped in it, the twins love only each other, at least, in a manner that is unconditional. That unconditional love that many think cannot be replicated, is replicated in the near twin. There is attraction towards the near twin, love towards him or her, synchronicity, and even telepathy. Here doubt causes everything to fall apart and suddenly, they don’t know each other, don’t know if one belongs to the other, or even if this whole twin soul business is real.

It becomes about uncertainty and identity. There is a sudden apprehension in the relationship, a sudden fear of picking or loving the wrong person, even of betrayal. Twin souls are not immune to betrayal, hate, and jealousy. Often, the twin soul relationship is regarded as some sort of superior relationship and it is idealized, but it is as special as every other connection love makes throughout the planet. What makes the twin soul relationship special is the individuals, for it is supreme for them, not for everyone else. When this doubt and fear that the near twin raised sets in, it is like the beginning or like the initial twin soul meeting where the person doubts of what is real and what is imagined. You don’t know who the other person is, yet you recognize them, and so, you fear approaching him or her. Do I know you? Yes, yes I do.  What if I’ve been wrong all along? What if you are my real twin? These sort of questions bog the mind of the twin, if just one of the twins meets his or her near twin, it pulls him or her away from the true twin. The instinct, the natural response to such situation is to fight the distancing, to fight the love that was once thought unique and exclusive to one person. Here the twins fight and struggle to keep themselves together, deny the possibility of their love being shared or being universal, and they often separate.

The twin soul relationship has many cycles, each one having what one may call themes. There are cycles of intense union, either physical, sexual, or spiritual. There are cycles of challenges, financial and emotional. There are cycles of creative union where the twins work together in harmony and create. The near twin overlaps various cycles depending on the couple, on the individual, on the lessons that need to be learned. For others, for those that have never met their twin soul, for those in a relationship with their near twin, it may be that the near twin cycle could last a lifetime. Near twins and twins are about experiencing an elevated aspect of love, something that allows one to see behind the veil.


Photo Credit: Melissa Portan

Photo Credit: Melissa Portan


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