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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Twin Souls: Pride, Envy, Hate, and Every Sin Possible


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“Vanity” by Aguste Toulmouche, completed 1890.


Twin souls or twin rays are just two people who love each other eternally, even through hate, pride, envy, and everything else you can imagine. When there is hate, envy, pride, there is an underlying pain that tears at the soul and this pain stems from that eternal love. Because the love of twin souls is eternal it does not mean that both lovers will always express it or will always be aware of its existence. The twin soul love can be dormant for years and years, through lifetimes and lifetimes. However, one must be careful not to confuse intense admiration or affection or attraction for the eternal love that is the twin flame love. Every one has a twin flame but not everyone is incarnated with their twin. The twin soul is not only about intensity and absorption of the other, but of Spirit and its lessons. Love evolves and grows, it pulsates and expands, and it is mutual.

At the beginning of the twin soul union there is doubt. Are these feeling real? Am I imagining this? It is when the doubt is embraced, when the challenge is accepted and the possibility of failure or loss is embraced, that the doubt vanishes to reveal the truth about the relationship. Being honest with yourself and truly looking at yourself will reveal whether it is your twin. That being said, we are all just people and this means that we all have the ability to feel pride, envy, hate, and every other sin possible. Twins meet through cycles, both in the present life and in lifetimes, and so the challenges they have to face depend on their souls’ experiences. When you meet your twin soul it is because there is something you need to learn, something about the universe and life, that only the twin can teach you. Understanding pride, hate, and envy may be one of those soul lessons that the twin is here to teach you or vice versa. Life is about learning, every little thing we do is not without its lesson.

Again, at the beginning of the relationship there is more taking. There is this rush and desperation to touch the other, to kiss and nibble, to get to know the other in every way possible. The norm seems to be that there is always one twin that wants to know more about the other than the other twin does about the other (confusing?). Some refer to it as the chaser. But I think that once the relationship is established, whether physically or spiritually, there is an evening out of want, desire, and chase. It is during the periods of taking, learning, and growing on each other (which do not just happen in the beginning) that greed, envy, hate, and pride can be exposed. Think of these four things as having been hiding in the shadows of the relationship; they have always been there. These sins come out in the relationship because it is the twin soul relationship. It is and it is not like every relationship; it is not because there cannot be any secrets, it is just not possible. The ill wishes of one towards the other manifest in the reality of the other, and depending on the soul-age of the twins they manifest quickly, or slowly, or not at all. The twins are united by one soul heart which allows them to feel and know each other. If one is jealous of the other, then the envied twin will know and will suffer because of it; and the envying twin will suffer because of the other’s suffering. See, between the two of them they form a circle. This is the circle of life, a circle of love, a circle of everything, and they exchange between themselves everything.


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“Moon and Stars” by Melissa Portan


If both twins are going through a cycle of envy, pride, or hate, both will be suffering and it will be evident to each and those around the couple or individuals (if they’re not in an established, known relationship). These are cycles good and bad, like night and day. When it comes to the twins hating each other there can be many reasons for it. One of the reasons is that the hate stems from their subconscious realization that their relationship is not working out, not how they had wanted it, and that perhaps it needs to end. Some twin soul relationships do not last the entire lifetime. Some of these relationships come, change everything, bring about an internal revolution, and then go. It is not possible or accurate to say all twin soul relationships last a lifetime, one twin may die before the other, one twin may choose to not be in the relationship, life circumstances can separate them, and so on. The twin soul relationship is about unification on all levels, from within to without, from the souls to the bodies, and it is also about separation and letting go. The separation and letting go part of the relationship is the hardest and scariest part, but it is necessary. Hate can grow because of many reasons, perhaps he hurt you or she hurt you, perhaps one betrayed the other, and now there is hate and pain. There can be misplaced hate, misdirected hate. The emotions that the twin soul relationship causes or exposes are the same emotions any other relationship can cause, except it is amplified, it is truer; perhaps purer is the better word. The emotions come bare and with full force, the essence of the thing, and there is no escaping them.

Whatever dark situation the twins may face, whichever sin the twins have to deal with, avoiding  the problems will only cause pain. Avoiding these issues separates each twin from their own true selves. This separation  from their true selves is what causes discord, pain, anger, and the separation they are so desperately trying to avoid. Each one, each twin, has to face his or her own darkness and faults. Both twins will force each other, unconsciously and consciously, to face themselves to the very bone. This is one of the things that separates the twin soul relationship from the soul mate relationship. In a soul mate relationship the faults are accepted in a conceding manner, in an understanding manner, where the couple acknowledges the faults in each other and skids around them. Soul mates can live harmoniously and spend a whole lifetime like this but twin souls would tear each other’s heads off. It is not that the twins become perfect and banish from their being all sins, that is not the definition of perfection, but that the twins reconcile their faults and understand them, often overcoming them; basically they reach a full awareness of themselves.

In a way that is difficult to understand, the dark side of human nature is a benefit to the twins. These challenges make the soul wiser, stronger, and kinder. The twin soul relationship at its most fundamental level is about ascension, about achieving higher consciousness, about elevating the soul. That cannot be achieved without difficulties. .

Namaste.


Photo Credit: Melissa Portan

Photo Credit: Melissa Portan


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