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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Twin Souls: When Reunion Doesn’t Happen


The idea and hope of the twin soul relationship is that there be a reunion, reunion being the establishment of the relationship for good with no more separation cycles. But, sometimes, reunion doesn’t happen. Why the twins do not reunite depends on the couple, some are only meant to meet, love, learn, and separate.

After separation, there is pain, confusion, and fear. The thing is, the twins unite everything about themselves. Whether they are physically united or spiritually united, the twins combine into each other. Twins become one. And when they separate there is chaos within them, because suddenly a part of themselves is missing…again.

There is a severe disorientation and a desperation to run back to each other, to return to what is familiar. And when that is not possible, it is painful, like something tearing deep within. The twins can feel their souls tearing, separating. Their souls are literally tearing inside of them, their energies are separating, their consciousness are separating. It is as much a physical event as a spiritual event. Some might get physically ill after a separation, like a cold, a fever, or stomach issues, fatigue, basically small ailments.

The twin soul relationship adds depth to reality, but it also reveals the superficiality and ephemeral aspects of life. Twins learn the value of love while also learning about the transient nature of all relationships. If the twins manage to learn more spiritual knowledge, they may realize the meaning of life; the true meaning of life, not just their own. All this knowledge changes perspective, changes what is real and meaningful, and as long as the twins are together in some form of a relationship, these hard and cold truths are bearable. Friendships are not so important when with the twin because the twin fills up all of the space in the heart of the other. The twin become friend, lover, guide, teacher, and foe.

Separation forces each twin to face the world on their own with their newly found knowledge. Not only that, but each twin is now changed. They are not the same as when the relationship first started and that is the problem. The twins will be confused, they won’t know what to do. It is like being lost, being in an unfamiliar city with no family or friends, and not being able to ask for directions because you don’t know where you are going. Soon after, or immediately after, separation everything will feel empty. The twins will feel empty inside. Though they are not empty within, the missing part of the other will feel like a gaping hole inside. What makes it more difficult is that though the twins are separating or separated, their pain will be multiplied because the other is also suffering. They will still feel each other’s pain until the separation is complete. It is a process that can take days or weeks, or even months. Some might react to the whole situation with anger. A twin might feel angry with himself or herself, with the world, or with the Gods/God, and with the twin. Life will seem like a chore. It will not have meaning; it’s just something you have to do.

And then the questions begin, the doubts may double. Was it ever real? Are twins a thing? Did I really experience all of that? Each twin will have to find the strength within to figure out the answers and to find their way back to themselves.

Namaste.

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