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Melissa Portan MSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide and healer who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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Warning! Hot Post: The Flaming Lotus

The Flaming Lotus exercise will help ignite the sexual energy that you already posses but may have become dormant and hidden beneath various thoughts or feelings. Practice and adjust this exercise to fulfill your needs. This will be beneficial if you are struggling not only with sexual and sexuality issues but also if you are feeling low about your body and lacking self-love. The purpose of this exercise is to increase your sexual energy, to strengthen your sexuality, and to allow you to be comfortable with yourself.

Whether you are in a relationship or single, this exercise should be practiced alone. Practice it alone first and if your partner shares your spiritual practice with you include him or her later on. Those with more experience moving energy will be able to apply this technique during sex and during couple’s meditation and exchange energies and more.

Preparation: Give yourself however much time you normally need to reach orgasm to do this exercise and a few minutes to that time. For example: if it takes you twenty minutes to reach orgasm, give yourself half an hour. If you already have a spiritual practice in place, prepare your area, cleanse the area, call upon your guides or Gods, or your higher self, whatever you feel comfortable doing. Light your incense. Light your candles. Set up your bed or yoga mat. Or get a comfortable chair.

Once you’ve set up your area and you know you won’t be disturbed, let the hotness begin!

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