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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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Warning! Hot Post: The Flaming Lotus

The Flaming Lotus exercise will help ignite the sexual energy that you already posses but may have become dormant and hidden beneath various thoughts or feelings. Practice and adjust this exercise to fulfill your needs. This will be beneficial if you are struggling not only with sexual and sexuality issues but also if you are feeling low about your body and lacking self-love. The purpose of this exercise is to increase your sexual energy, to strengthen your sexuality, and to allow you to be comfortable with yourself.

Whether you are in a relationship or single, this exercise should be practiced alone. Practice it alone first and if your partner shares your spiritual practice with you include him or her later on. Those with more experience moving energy will be able to apply this technique during sex and during couple’s meditation and exchange energies and more.

Preparation: Give yourself however much time you normally need to reach orgasm to do this exercise and a few minutes to that time. For example: if it takes you twenty minutes to reach orgasm, give yourself half an hour. If you already have a spiritual practice in place, prepare your area, cleanse the area, call upon your guides or Gods, or your higher self, whatever you feel comfortable doing. Light your incense. Light your candles. Set up your bed or yoga mat. Or get a comfortable chair.

Once you’ve set up your area and you know you won’t be disturbed, let the hotness begin!

 Lie down on your back and take the position of the image to the left. If you are going to do this while reading, then sit up comfortably with your back straight. (If you will be doing this while reading, bring awareness to the areas each word mentions.) Make sure your feet are touching because this will keep the energy you are going to awaken swimming in your sacral area, thereby increasing your sexual energy. The goal of this exercise is to raise the kundalini in the root and sacral chakras and to keep that energy. Look at the image again and see where the red hot energy flows from the feet, barely escaping through the curves, and see how it rises up to the belly button area. That is the area we are going to focus on today.

For now, if you’re not aroused, this area is dim, a soft pink or even a cool blue. When your body has settled, close your eyes and simply feel your body.

Start from the tips of your toes, to the tops of your feet, up your legs and to your thighs, to the inside of your thighs, to the connection between your legs and pelvis, moving to your inner body.

Breathe in extend your hands and bring them together in front of your chest and say, either out loud or in your mind, NAMASTE.

Keep your hands together and reach upwards towards the sky, there gather energy from the universe and spread your hands down, bringing them into your pelvic area, harnessing that energy, and raise up into you, in a direction going upwards towards your chest. Keep moving your hands upwards to your chest and up over your head. Repeat until you feel comfortable or satisfied.

When ready, begin to arouse yourself however you feel comfortable. Fantasize or recall the sex you had and so on. When you have touched yourself and have begun to stroke either your penis or your clitoris/vagina. Begin to visualize your sex center as being full of energy.

Women. Focus your movements on your clitoris and on the exterior of your sex. With each touch that excites you and feels good, visualize energy entering you and exciting you more. Feel the pleasure that you are giving yourself and recognize how sexy you are. Allow your breath to quicken and deepen. The movements of your hand on your sex should be in an upwards direction, in a direction that goes deeper into you with or without penetrating yourself. Become aware of the heat your sacral chakra and your sensuality is causing you to feel. This heat moves from deep within you, from your clitoris and/or your g-spot, down your beautiful legs, to your very toes, and comes back up only to enter you more powerfully, filling you with love and amplifying your sexuality and energy. When you stroke and squeeze your lovely breasts, take time to touch your nipples. When your nipples harden at the tug of your fingertips, become aware of the reaction that also happen in your pelvic region. Feel the energy in your breasts and chest area and visualize a light connecting it to the light in your vagina/clitoris. Connecting the sexual energy in your breasts with the sexual energy in your vagina will amplify your sexual energy, cause higher sensitivity, and will raise your kundalini.

You can do one of two things when you feel your pleasure peak and your orgasm nearing:

1. You can allow yourself to orgasm and focus the energy of your orgasm back into you via your sex your root and sacral chakras. See and feel the energy settling over your pelvic area. Release your intent as you release your orgasm. Feel the relaxation that orgasm causes and become aware of the calming and residual sensations in your vagina. This is not always easy and if you forget to focus your energy then  do not worry about it, simply enjoy the experience. You still raised your kundalini and it will have its effects on you.

2. You can deny your orgasm. This would be very helpful for those in a relationship and for those with really low sexual energy. For those in a relationship this will allow you to have a storage of arousal waiting for your partner. And for those with low energy and a disinterest in sex this will bring you closer to your body allowing you to be more intimate with yourself not only on the physical level but also in the spiritual/mental levels.  If you decide to keep your energy completely within you, at the point where you feel you cannot hold it in anymore, rest the palms of your hands on your mons veneris, your pubic mound, and close your eyes. Allow your breath to calm and see with your mind’s eye the energy within you, see your pelvic area, your vagina, your ovaries, your inner and outer lips, your anus, your clitoris, everything in the pelvic area is now glowing with positivity, sexuality, and love.

Whether you choose to do 1 or 2 or are single or in a relationship bring your feet back together, bring yourself back into the posture that you started the exercise in. You may have moved out of posture and we want to keep the energy you raised within you, this posture brings your awareness of your energy to the physical. When your orgasm calms, rest the palms of your hands over your pubic mound, breath and close your eyes.

When fully calmed and satisfied, bring your hands up to your chest, to your heart area, and say out loud or in your mind, NAMASTE.

Men. As you touch yourself focus on the sensations moving through your body. Become aware not only of your hard penis but also of your toes, your legs, your inner thighs, your pelvic area, your scrotum, the base of your penis. Allow your breath to quicken and deepen, but control the pace of your hand on your member. Each time that you feel your pleasure rise and intensify visualize light entering you, through the tip of your penis down to the shaft and base, and up to your navel. And your whole pelvic area is full of arousal and sexuality. Every time your hand comes down your shaft to the root of your penis, visualize energy, sexual energy, engulfing your penis and becoming a part of you. Feel the heat around your balls and penis and feel that energy, that sexiness, radiate throughout your body. With every pulse of pleasure that shakes your body your sacral chakra grows brighter, visualize, see with your mind’s eye, the energy glowing from your toes up to your navel and feel its warmth surround you.

You can do one of two things when you feel your ejaculation/orgasm about to explode:

1. You can allow yourself to ejaculate and orgasm. To keep the sexual energy that you raised, to keep the kundalini awakened, focus your orgasm’s/ejaculation energy back to yourself. To do this, visualize and feel the energy you are releasing, this energy that is full of sexiness, love, understanding, and desire, and circle it back to yourself, see the energy in your mind’s eye and see it make your sacral chakra glow brightly and warmly.

2. You can deny your orgasm/ejaculation. This is more difficult for men to do than women, but it is possible and beneficial to those men with very low sex drive, weak erections, and premature ejaculation. This is also a great way to store all that arousal for your partner. This can also allow you to feel more comfortable and more in control of your body, to know yourself better and more intimately. If you decide to keep all of your energy within you, rest your hands at the base of your penis, both of your hands surrounding the base, and allow your breath to slow. With your mind’s eye see your sacral chakra glowing with energy, with your sexuality and your arousal. Visualize every single part of your pelvic area glowing with your kundalini energy, your penis, the tip of the penis, the root, the scrotum, the perineum, and the anus, and lower abdomen.

Whether you choose to do 1 or 2 or are single or in a relationship bring your feet back together, bring yourself back into the posture that you started the exercise in. You may have moved out of posture and we want to keep the energy you raised within you, this posture brings your awareness of your energy to the physical.

When fully calmed and satisfied, bring your hands up to your chest, to your heart area, and say out loud or in your mind, NAMASTE.

A red rose. A symbol of love.


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