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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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The Male Orgasm

The male orgasm. It is famous for its explosiveness. It is admired for its strength and ability to give pleasure. A man’s orgasm is where his sexuality is exposed, raw, and expressed. A man’s sexuality is at its most primal blatant, forward, direct. His orgasm and erection are the pride of his sexuality. The male erection has been worshipped and admired openly since humanity could mold stone and paint on walls; openly so by the ancient Greeks, by the Hindus, and many other cultures.

Where a woman’s orgasm is internal a man’s orgasm is external. A man ejaculates when his penis and/or other erogenous zones have been aroused to the maximum and it originates from the scrotum. There is where the ejaculate is made and mixed with sperm, it is there where a man feels tension as his arousal and erotic energies grow. From there the tension and muscle spasms of his orgasm give him pleasure until he has to release.

How his orgasm feels varies. Every man will experience orgasms differently. The heat or burning of his passion might be felt primarily at the root of his penis. It might move up to his navel and around his belly button or his pleasure could move closer to his anus and down to his toes.

Not many men know that their orgasm and ejaculation can be separate events. Men, like women, are capable of having multiple orgasms. Multiple orgasms in men are without ejaculation but just as pleasurable if not more than the single orgasm combined with ejaculation. There are techniques men can learn and practice to gain this ability to have multiple orgasms. In order to experience multiple orgasms a man first has to be aware of the orgasmic sensations of his body. The Squeeze Method could allow a man to familiarize himself with those incredibly intimate and erotic sensations; thereby allowing him to control his erection for longer periods and to experience multiple orgasms. When a man experiences multiple orgasms he becomes more comfortable with who he is, with his sexuality, and his confidence or self-assurance grows.

Some men experience their orgasm before they ejaculate. Young men experience this most and they do not ejaculate (prepubescent). In young men, their erections are quickly  incited by minimal arousal. Both men and women in youth experience their raw sexual energy being easily aroused, but because a man’s sexual organs are on the exterior his arousal is obvious. This directedness of a man’s sexuality is often ridiculed and it often causes insecurities and other not so obvious problems.

The male perineum is an erogenous zone that is often neglected either because of sexual orientation or because it is seen as taboo. The perineum, the soft area behind the scrotum, between the scrotum and anus, is sensitized during arousal. With pressure put on this area a man’s orgasm can be intensified or brought about.

There are a couple of things the male body has in common with the female body: a clitoris, a g-spot, multiple orgasms, ejaculation, nipple orgasms, visualization orgasms, and anal orgasms. Judging by this list, men and women are capable of the exact same things; however, the male anatomy is different and things are in different parts of the body and happen slightly differently.

The male g-spot orgasm is also known as the prostate orgasm. The male g-spot is stimulated through the anus and the perineum. This orgasm is more profound, internal and more connected to the spine. This type of orgasm does not have to be experienced only by gay men. Heterosexual men can also enjoy this type of orgasm using their own finger, sex toys, or their partner’s help.

The nipple orgasms may seem like a thing of mythology but it most likely is not. Some women can experience this type of orgasm and so can men. The reason it is so rare is because men and society in general associate the breasts/nipples with femininity. The last thing a heterosexual man wants to be is feminine and so he closes off the opportunity to experience his sexuality throughout every inch of his body. Gay men might be unaware of the potential for sexual pleasure in their nipples but still experience heightened sensitivity and pleasure there.

The visualization orgasm is also less common. Here a man enjoys a sexual fantasy and he physically experiences signs of arousal and even orgasm. For every single type of orgasm a man can have his mind plays an integral role in how he experiences it. How he feels, a man’s feelings are often neglected, denied, or hidden, affects his orgasms and erection. The visualization orgasm is a mixture of the mental and energetic bodies. Some men just naturally and unconsciously tap into their bodies’ energies.

However a man experiences an orgasm, he is capable of feeling it throughout his entire body if he allows himself to. Through his orgasm he can learn about his sexuality, become comfortable with his sensuality, and truly be himself.


A red rose. A symbol of love.

A red rose. A symbol of love.


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