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Melissa Portan LMSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.

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Twin Souls: Mass Confusion

Updated: Dec 28, 2020


It’s official, the concept of twin souls has reached mass market. This past week I have read two articles on the subject and the amount of misinformation is beyond frustrating. I haven’t written on the subject for a long time and coming back into it now is a shock. Yet, I feel like I’ve said this before. I suppose that reading all this misinformation and pigeonholing has galvanized me to write again, that and a slew of other factors I will share with you in an upcoming personal post. For now, let’s discuss what’s happening in the sphere of twin souls or twin flames.


A brief history of the mass knowing of twin souls in Classical Greece.


The concept of a twin flame or twin soul is not new; in fact, it is ancient. The ancient Greeks understood what a twin soul was and worked it into their mythology. Many reference Plato’s Symposium wherein he and others discuss what love is and how humans were originally formed, albeit, quite briefly. This is where the idea of the other half comes from for many; however, other ancient cultures have similar concepts. For me, as my soul’s origin is Greek, I am most familiar with this way of viewing twin souls. (If you know how other cultures describe twin souls/twin flames, please share in the comments!) Despite Plato providing a poetic discourse on love, this idea of twin souls was not always central to the lives of the Greeks. The Greeks had different ways of thinking of love and often, romantic love was not the highest form of love that could be reached. Different philosophers had differing ideas on what love was, and it was in Classical Greece that romantic love took center stage with the work of Diotima, Plato, and Socrates.


It was the philosophers, the priests and priestesses, who taught the masses about love. Poets, bards, and playwrights also taught on love. Parents and personal experience taught love. Love has always existed and always will. What didn’t exist then was mass media and electronic technology. To hear Priestess Diotima teach on love one had to travel to her; Socrates did. To hear higher, philosophical conversations on love, people had to go to the agora which was in the city and not always led by competent teachers, as Socrates often complained was the case. Today, we type a few words into a search bar and we get all of the discussions and information. Today, anyone can write anything and share it with the masses.


Growing Confusion of Terms: What are the differences?


Twin souls or twin flames or twin rays, whatever you want to call them, are not the same as soul mates. I’ve read over 3 articles conflating twin souls with soul mates and I’ve read 1 article defining soul mates as twin souls. This last article said twin souls are super common and that everyone will meet their twin soul in their lifetime. This type of misinformation will only cause confusion and more heartache. Twin souls aren’t common, and we are not all going to “meet” our twin in this life. The reason I put the word meet in quotes is because the twin soul relationship transcends the physical confines of our common understanding. Many will meet their twin soul in this lifetime, but often it will not be in the traditional sense of the word where we run into each other on the street and shake hands. For many, their twin soul relationship will be spiritual only; either one person on this plane and the other in the spiritual or they will not physically meet and sustain a spiritual connection regardless. Soul mates do not experience this aspect of soul love. That is not to say that soul mate love cannot be profound, it simply has a different purpose. Soul mate love tends to be meant to bring companionship and personal growth; whereas the twin soul relationship is meant to bring spiritual ascension and unification. It is a different type of companionship; it is internal, meaning being whole within independently of the other twin, and it is the unification of the self through the history of the soul, the resolution of the soul’s wounds versus the resolution of the person’s wounds that occurs in a soul mate relationship; it is companionship not with another person but with another soul, and it is companionship with God, nature, and the universe. Again, neither relationship is better than the other, they are just different and are meant to cause different things. What type of relationships we have in this life are dictated by where we are in our evolution.


Twin Souls and Soul Mates Aren’t Real


I also read an article from a woman who has been married for over 15 years saying soul mates aren’t real, let alone twin souls. She bases her argument on her personal experience within her marriage and how challenging it has been, and it being a testament to lasting relationships being the result of hard work rather than the result of being soul mates or twin souls. It is understandable to base an argument on personal experience, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Here at this blog, what you read when it comes to twin souls and soul mates is completely based on personal experience. Our sciences have not gotten to the point where they can verify reincarnation, spiritual energy, and everything that goes with a twin soul or soul mate relationship; the parasciences can only hint at the reality that many experience every day. Now, going back to the article I was referencing earlier in this paragraph. I understand exactly where she is coming from; from frustration. She sounds like she is frustrated at how people think soul mate and twin soul relationships are easy. It’s not her fault that she is upset that people believe these relationships are fairy tales. Her reaction is a product of the mass misinformation that is happening when it comes to twin souls and soul mates, let alone relationships in general. And she is not alone in her misconception on the reality of soul mates and twin souls. Many believe that if you meet a soul mate you will be together forever. This is not always the case. Many believe soul mate relationships are easy, this is also not always the case. Many believe twin soul relationships are meant to be and that nothing will ever intervene in that relationship; also not true. So, it isn’t that twin souls or soul mates aren’t real, it’s that there is a lot of misinformation and confusion concerning these types of relationships.


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