A woman is a beautiful and complex being. Physically speaking there are many ways to please her and she is capable of different orgasms (refer to The Female Orgasm). Before you begin trying to please a woman I recommend figuring out why you want to please her (read this first). Bring clarity to yourself and it will bring clarity to your relationship.
So, how do you please a woman? Whatever you do to or for your partner, do it from a place of love because when you do, things do not feel necessary, or like a burden, or a task. Relationships take effort and time from both individuals. There is not a formula or a pattern that will bring an orgasm to every single woman. Your partner has her own sensitive areas, areas on her body that are very easily aroused. How do you find her erogenous zones? You explore her body. This is the most exciting part of a relationship, you get to explore your partner. The first step to sexual bliss, to sexual satisfaction, is knowing your partner.
How to explore her body:
You can get to know her hot zones during sex. This is the quickest and most obvious way to figure out what turns her on, what brings her closer to orgasm, and what does not work. When using your hands use different types of touches, meaning press harder or touch lightly, pinch, pull, and massage. Pay attention to her breathing, muscle spasms (signs of orgasm, even a small one), to her moans, and her eyes. Her eyes will tell you if she is present fully in the pleasure you are giving her or if she is not feeling it. Secondly, use your mouth. Your lips and tongue are a wonderful and deeply stimulating way to explore and arouse your partner, even to fully satisfy her. The sensations your lips on her neck will cause her will be different from the sensations your hands will cause. She might like to be
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kissed more around her neck than be stroked there. She might like it when you trail kisses from her belly up to her breasts more than when you go from her breasts downward. Those small differences affect her arousal, the pleasure level, and so on. On certain days she will like certain things, and when in a specific mood she will prefer something else. Don’t think of this varying sense of pleasure as a curse! This is a blessing because this means sex will not always be the same. The reason sex becomes stale, routine, and boring, is because men, and sometimes women, forget or do not understand the constantly moving female sexuality. Every month, her sensitivity will be affected because of her menstrual cycle, because of her hormones, and so on. Take advantage of the changes.
Explore her body during normal, non-sexual contact. Exploring her body like this is more subtle and can not only allow you to get know her better but also enliven your relationship overall. How do you do this? The intention behind every touch will be sex. Every time you touch her arm during a normal and bland conversation it will be with the intention of sex, but you will keep that intention hidden. You simply want to know what she likes and how she likes it. Putting your hand on her lower back, near but not touching her butt, will send shivers down her spine. She might get surprised and give you a strange look, especially if you’ve never really done anything like this. What you are doing is keeping her sexual energy awake, you are keeping her arousal going at a low hum that is palpable and will eventually need to be satisfied. In order to satisfy a woman sexually she needs to feel that she needs to be satisfied, so cause the need. 😉 Another thing you can do is move her hair out of the way, or simply stroke it gently. Some women, because of the difficulty, time, and effort it took to fix the hair, will not appreciate a touch. So, be mindful of how and when you touch her hair. Touching your partner in a non-sexual way will bring both of you closer. Being closer will open up communication between both of you, she might begin to touch you like you are touching her and so begins the physical-sexual communication.
Once you know what she likes and what touches turn her on, you can incorporate them in your sexual union. Use your body to sexually satisfy her and use your mind to arouse her. When it comes to bringing your partner to orgasm there are different factors to consider. Consider the strength and duration of your erection. It takes a woman longer to reach orgasm than a man so you need to be able to sustain yourself for as long as she needs. Sustaining yourself means many things, maintaining your erection, maintaining your focus, desire, and arousal, and having the stamina to keep going (changing or maintaining sex positions). Make your partner feel special, put her first, and this will increase the pleasure she feels.
Sexual pleasure is a mixture of the physical and mental aspects. We all need to feel sexy and it is something that needs to be felt both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom. A woman’s sexual pleasure is intimately tied with her sense of being sexy. Let her know what you find sexy about her, not only during sex, but also aside from sex. I love when you wear that shirt. I love how you do this or that, and so on. Let her know that she is beautiful.
Namaste.
Photo Credit: Melissa Portan