How do you know if your partner really had an orgasm? How do you know that she felt the intense pleasure of orgasm and that she is not faking it? Many many women fake their orgasms for various reasons. The most common reason a woman fakes her orgasm is because she does not want to hurt her partner. She does not want to embarrass her partner by saying something, “Hey, sorry but that didn’t quite work for me, do you think you can try again?” So, if you are a man and you are reading this and you suspect your partner is faking her orgasms, consider this first. Try not to take offense to it because she is trying to not hurt you. She is trying to avoid hurting you not because she thinks that you cannot handle the truth, but because she cares about you. This type of response from a woman, faking orgasms, tends to come from a place of love and concern and selflessness. There are two scenarios where you should worry if your partner is not having an orgasm: 1. is she hiding a health concern? such as, inability to have an orgasm? and 2. has she lost total interest in your relationship and it is now reflecting in your sex life? could she be cheating? or completely given up on the relationship? Unless there are other signs or issues in the relationships, do not consider the aforementioned possibilities. A great sex life takes work, cooperation, exploration, and it can be gained just as it can be lost.
The female orgasm is internal and the male orgasm is external. When a woman orgasms it is not possible to see her internal vaginal muscles contracting with pleasure. You can, however, see both her vaginal opening and anus clench and open through orgasm. But during coitus, and for simplicity let’s say you’re in missionary position, you cannot see the orgasm and her sex responding, you can feel it. This is the primary way to know if your partner is having an orgasm. During her orgasm and while penetrating her, her vagina will contract around your penis. The contractions of her vagina around your penis will feel incredibly pleasurable and might cause you to orgasm and ejaculate. If you are absolutely into your own orgasm and ejaculation, could it be that you are not entirely aware of her orgasm and contractions around your member? Also, the strength of her orgasmic contractions depend on a couple of things: the intensity of her orgasm, where her orgasm is coming from, the strength of her muscles, and her energy level (tired or full of energy).
A woman can have multiple orgasms and she can have orgasms originating from different areas of her body. The most sensitive part on a woman’s body is the clitoris. The clitoris is the antenna of sexual pleasure. Again, when in missionary position, her partner’s pubic bone and the movements of the penis as it goes in and out, might stimulate the clitoris to orgasm. If you stop your movements in the middle of her clitoral orgasm because you reached your orgasm and are ejaculating, you are interrupting her orgasm! The female orgasm, unlike the male orgasm, needs to be stimulated until it is completely over. Women when masturbating often stop when they begin to feel the orgasm and that stops them from feeling the overwhelming full body orgasm. Men, when stimulating their partners, stop when the begin to see her body tremble with orgasm, thinking that she will ride it out or that she has already had an orgasm and the trembling is the aftershock. Here is where the trick for multiple orgasms is, for causing her multiple orgasms; keep going at a steady pace and as long as it is pleasurable for her. Two things can happen if you keep stimulating her through her entire orgasm, (the beginning, the apex, and the ending) 1. female ejaculation and 2. multiple orgasms. So consider this if you doubt your partner’s orgasms, are you stopping midway of her orgasm? She might also be confused about her orgasms, wondering if there is something wrong with her.
The nipples. A woman’s nipples harden during orgasm. If a woman is moaning and turning her head side to side and her nipples do not harden and you do not feel her vagina tightening or see it, it may be a fake orgasm. Pay attention to your partner’s nipples during sex, see what causes them to harden. During orgasm, the nipples harden to the maximum and stick out the furthest they can without being pulled; they are fully erect. To intensify her orgasm, touch her nipples and/or suck or nibble them. The clitoris and the nipples are connected and what happens to the nipples affect the clitoris and the vagina. In general, her whole body tenses up during orgasm. Her back flattens, if lying on her back, and her tummy curves in, away from you. This movement exposes her sex more to you, inviting more stimulation.
If there is still doubt that she had an orgasm, the clitoris is the last resort to finding the truth. Touch the clitoris once she has calmed down or once you begin to doubt that her orgasm is real. If she does not push your hand away from her clitoris it is because there is still a reserve of pleasure waiting to be released, meaning that she did not have an orgasm or that she did not finish her orgasm. After an orgasm, the clitoris is super sensitive. Again, here is the key to multiple orgasms. After the first orgasm the clitoris is very sensitive, yes, but if given a moment, it can be aroused again and reaching orgasm becomes easier after that and can even be more intense.
The best way to avoid having any doubt about your partner’s orgasms is to know your partner. Know what she likes. Ask her what she likes. Tune into your partner, connect with her, feel her orgasms and her arousal and do not ignore your instincts.
Namaste.