Melissa Portan MSW, MEd

Writer & Sexologist

Melissa is a 5th generation spiritual guide and healer who specializes in helping others find their own spiritual path. She is also a sex and relationship therapist practicing in NYC.


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Soul Mates: The Different Types


“Romantic” by Bill Mill http://billmill.org/

In the vastness of this tiny planet what we all search for is love. Admit it or not, be aware of it or not, that is what man looks for. And the truth is that we don’t have to look so far or try so hard to find love.

Every single person on this planet has a soul mate. Everyone has many soul mates. Because of all the different relationships we are capable of having there are different kinds of soul mates. Homosexuality does not matter. Soul mates are everywhere and everyone, regardless of their sexuality, can and does have soul mates. These relationships are manifestations of love and allow us to grow and become love ourselves.

But what are soul mates? Soul mates are connected to one another. How? I don’t know exactly, but these relationships are connected through the soul, as the name implies. Some say that soul mates share the same origin point somewhere in the universe. Others say that soul mates don’t exist at all, that it is all just our minds and imaginations and common likes that cause us to feel an affinity to someone. But soul mate relationships bring with them many lessons and they are people that we meet that help us evolve. (We are going to assume that soul mates exist and that twin souls exists and that the soul is something that to date evades logical explanation.) Soul mates share energy that is closely related and so when someone meets his or her soul mate, they get along pretty well.  However, I believe that there are two sides to everything. I believe that you can’t have light without darkness, and so, if one can have the soul mate that bring happiness and love one can also have the soul mate that brings hate and discord.

The most common soul mate one finds is the familial soul mate. This is what I call the soul mate that is in the family. This can be your sister, your brother, mother or father, or cousin, and so on. This kind of soul mate brings about a wonderful and nurturing relationship. Every relationship has its challenges, but for those in one with a familial soul mate, it is easier and often with strong long-lasting bonds. Reincarnation is something that many believe in and is purported by many different spiritual paths. When it comes to soul mates, specifically familial soul mates, reincarnation plays a very strong role. This is because family bonds, regardless if they are with a soul mate or just another being, support us and shape us through our lives. And so, to give shape to our soul’s character there needs to be some sort of consistency, some sort of familiarity that will allow the person to leave home and explore the world with confidence. Familial soul mates often reincarnate together, sometimes switching roles, meaning that where one was the daughter in a previous life she is now the mother. The reversal of roles brings with it many new lessons and a different perspective, allowing the soul of the person to mature and understand more of human life, and most importantly of love.

The other type of soul mate relationship is the amiable soul mate.  This is your best friend, the person you hang out with a lot and don’t get bored with. This is the friend that is always there for you and understands you. The amiable soul mate can even be just people you meet in passing. The difference is that usually that person leaves an imprint upon you, something about the meeting lasts in your mind, and something in you is changed, or a new opportunity appears because of them.

There is the erotic soul mate. This is the relationship that most seek. This is the relationship that is eventually or is instantly sexual. In this kind of relationship, both understand each other and love each other and can be together for a very long time. This kind of soul mate relationship is a bit more rare than the others. In this kind of relationship there is an immediate attraction between both involved. They have the same interests and enjoy doing similar activities. However, often,  the soul mates have opposing religious/spiritual views. Despite this, the soul mates get along well. This is contrary to the twin soul relationship where both have the same beliefs/practices, but different aspects of it. The soul mate relationship does not always have a spiritual aspect to it and this is one thing that distinguishes it from the twin soul relationship. Nor the twin soul relationship nor the soul mate relationship is more valuable or important. These different types of relationships all have their lessons and because everyone is at different levels of their soul’s evolution, their relationships reflect that. When the soul is ready either the soul mate will come into the person’s life or the twin soul. This means that when you want and are ready for your soul mate, he or she will show up.

As to why the erotic soul mate relationship is more rare than the others, I am not entirely sure. The thing about soul mate relationships is that they are not all meant to last entire lifetimes. Sometimes, someone involved in an erotic soul mate relationship will leave for another relationship, which may or may not be with another soul mate. And to understand why relationships end, we have to delve into the nature of love.

Namaste, friends.


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